I’m trying to not be so anxious. I’m trying not to worry about being off schedule. I hate that I can’t leave my house without wanting to cry or scream. I’m afraid of being judged, I can’t control myself anymore. I need everything to go according to plan because that’s the only thing in my life I can control. I couldn’t save my life, my family, it was stolen. But at least I can save some normality in my life with a schedule, I can overcome this. I can learn to accept loss and not be so anxious about life. But it takes time and I’m damn well trying my hardest because I get out of bed every god damn morning when every part of me screams not to. So yes I am fucked up, but I’m trying my fucking best to fix myself.